Things to know before coming to
an Oklahoma goat ranch.
1. A possum is a flat animal
that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Oklahoma .
3. There
are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma , plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll
stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?'
means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'fixinto' is one word.
10.
There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate
for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards
means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to
wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same
day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20.
You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five
spices: salt, pepper, Head Country, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one
page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer,
and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'
28.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30.
We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can...besides that, we've been driving since
the age of 8.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Oklahoma friends and those who just wish
they were from Oklahoma .
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